My first

This is my first post on my first blog....I know, what day and age do I live in? Anywoo, let me get to the point.  I named the title of this blog my first and it made me think about the first time that I had sex.  Yeah...I thought at the time I was sooo in love with this douchebag but it later turned out that he was sleeping with my best friend.  And yes I realize that occurred over five years ago but how does one get over that?  My friends, family and husband all seem to think that I am this incerdably strong person.  HA!  They have NO clue what the hell goes on in my fucked up brain!  I feel that I have to keep up this facade of being "strong" and "independent"  when really I'm miserable.
Maybe I'm just a tad bi-polar...maybe.
As I mentioned in my profile I just graduated from college.  So now is the time for transition and a happy period in my life...ok...Who said that was supposed to be the case?  I mean I'm happy but I'm really board with my life.  I went from being a full time student, with a full time internship AND a full time job, to just having a full time job. 
So I should have a social life right...
Well let me tell ya....My husband works two jobs and I have no kids.  My friends are either still in college or have boyfriends with whom they like spending time  or they have moved off to a far off land.  So basically I feel that I am alone in my own little special Jill world.
But still you should have things to do in your free time....yeah...ok come to the very secluded rural Ohio County that I live in and tell me if there is anything to do besides doing drugs, drinking, and/or having sex with strange.  There was once a time when I did such things but no longer.  I have a license and a "reputation" that I need to maintain and here in rural Ohio everyone knows everyone's business.
So what do you do??!!  Zumba...sleep..read...work...poop, thats pretty much it.  TV is ok but there is usually only crap on so I don't bother.  So til next time...